The first exploration

how r u..i know u all miss me and this judai is non bearable…but what to do…u know I m doing all this for money so that my son/daughter can go to a good school and fall in love with a rich girl/daughter…life here is boring….these guys here don’t have much of a sense of humour and I think I might die due to boredom…just informing you in case I don’t answer my phone…my phone balance is now …becoz I call lot of my Indian friends(Indian friends…as If I have any other)….There is no news paper here no TV no ccd..no pizza hut..no WADA PAV..no missal pav..no pan walla…no movie theater…no pirated CD’s….no jumbo king…no pind da dhaba..no panchmukhi…no sexy babes….only cocaine is there…so in short I planning to take it as this is the only national time pass…I might also joined the armed robbers group coz that is the only adventure sport available here…

It is surprising to know that the maximum number of churches in the world are in ***eria and the largest church in the world is also in ***eria….leeee party!!!……Apparently religion here is a bigger business than oil..can u imagine that….i can coz I m anti god…I always knew religion and cocaine are the way to quick money and ***eria has it both...so the economy rocks…

I have also seen many more white skinned homo sapien sapiens but they all live in big estates created by them…its like a parallel world in ***eria without blacks..no wonder these guys r irritated and rob us so much…but hey..i am an Indian….i am not from chevron..or Tmobile…or any other giant American or European oil sucking country….but that’s not their problem…..they just have to rob every person who is fairer than them..

Today the most funny thing happened…a guy had come in to my office and delivered some mail….i asked my employee whos name is Omalade…that who was it...she said it was a tall, fat, with big eyes(u don’t see many as everyone takes cocaine..so their eyes r half closed)…and he was DARK BLACK…..all my life I have been a pseudo artist but I have never ever heard of a color called dark black…and everyone is black here…what the hell!!...how will I ever recognize a guy with dark black color in a country where black is everywhere….

In other third world countries where the economy is on its way to grow there people have many small time jobs to fend for their family….and here every second shop is a car showroom...and not just any dumb kind..like the ones we have in india where a maximum of 4-5 cars r there…here u have 40-50 cars…all mixed variety and the kind of cars that they keep are land cruisers, proche, hummer, range rover, pajero, Nissan, benz……..so my Toyota looks like a small toy in front of them..But the point is whereeeeeeeeeeeeee do they get money to do all this….this is something that I yet have to research in my spare time…..

Just now my dads bank relation officer walked in…shes hottttttttttttttttt….great figure…one thing is good about these guys that they all are in shape..i don’t know how…maybe its evolution that we evolved short, ugly, hairy and intelligent….and the girls here evolved strong, firm bodied, and super protruding butts, and dumb (forget the guys here)…ohhhhhh!! the bank officers name is Ada ….(as in katilana ada). Moving on the traditional fast food here is roasted bananas, roasted chicked(which have died a natural death…atleast PETA will be happy), and bread and some milky syrup jiska nam is Gari….i don’t know what the ingredients are…

(Yaaaaaaaaaaaawnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!)……wht to do, there is not electricity and the generator is on and the sound of its engine is sounding like a melody…which is putting me to sleep….Usually in india say 40% of the india would be subjected to load shedding and power cuts but here 100% ***eria is not given electricity…during the past four day do u know how much time electricity has been there….30 mins!!!!!!...thats it!!..thats like half the time of what I spent in the bathroom making bubbles out of soap….oh boy ..if I think of the things that I had taken for granted in india…,,actually I didn’t take them for granted I valued them….but I never thought how life is without weeks of electricity (they call is Nepa here)…..

Whenever anyone sees me here they tell my dad…”oh hes ur son…hes so young…..” and then they look at me as say “your welcome”…the English here is called pigeon English ..its kind of funny they use two negative words to make a normal sentence …

Oh godddddddddddddddddddddddd….i didn’t notice that the blog was long…anyways I got to go…..the generator has also been shut down…



Byeeeeeeeeeeeee

The start

I have thought that…”ya I do have the time to write a mail..once a week”. Usually when people ask us from which college we are….we think it would be so embarrassing to tell them of our college is of some weird name or something that they have not heard of….but when I was here I came across Awesome college…(well..Awesome is the name here..not the adjective)…ya sounds too modern and funky but its true, the name is really “awesome college” and to top things it is headed by NUT (national union of teachers)….no no  mai phek nahi raha sachi mai. These guys are genetically stronger than us..howwwwww can we win in races (athletics) with them…this is the only place where I have seen where people naturally have 6 packs abs…naturally!!!  Imagine. They eat meat whole week they can run like anything yaar…I can say that coz all the sales guys on the road run behind my car from one signal to other signal carrying all their heavy stuff….i feel so ashamed of myself, 6packs ki jagah family pack and my mom feeds me gheeeeeee all week saying I will get strong, she thinks if I m fatter It means I m strong.….No wonder we suck in Olympics.

We r stereotype!!!!…hum sab northerners ek jaise dikhte hai????.....theseeeeee guys are stereotype. It’s so difficult to distinguish one guy from the other…trust me had it not been their habit to wear the same shirt all week than it would have been really difficult for me to recognize them. My mom and my driver give tashan to each other (ya he does..coz we cant sack him..hes reliable..relaible means he doesn’t rob us..reliabilty has nothing to do with driving the car ) as my mom says that he never changes clothes and stinks and my driver thinks whyyyyyy do I need to change clothes everyday. Well you cant blame them coz its very expensive here and the most of the people have found out so innovative ways to live…like the reason for wearing clothes for a week is that at the end of the week they put together everyones cloth..and buy on sachet of ariel and wash it…that way they save money, next thing that they do is that they pay DAILY tax for transport vehicles instead of paying yearly..that way if u fall sick u would not pay a days tax…(thanks to awesome college ideas).

I miss eating dahi(yoghurt)....salla yaha powder milk and juice pe pe ke I m fed up.....yaha bhais nahi hai and even if india ki tarah raste pe ghumte hui millegi then they will probably kill it and eat........no yaar I m not saying they r junglii..its just that they are too opportunistic . One thing is good about these people no matter how senior he is in the organistation they will talk to you with such respect and atmiyata...but Indians here are the same old story…they have serious attitude issue....one of the reason is that coz they think they are the white rich foreigners....salle gadhe kahi ke....

Yes yes...i know you all miss me..i miss you 2..i will be back in November....ummmmmmm tabhi I think ek doh dosto ka bday hai...i m not so good at remembering birthdays.....but I think tabhi simpoo, meri mom, rahul , vivek ka bday hai.....so lot of free food days..yay!!

I cant even understand the names here...whenever someone calls me and says hi this xyz speaking I just say “oohhh hi ...how r u....is everything fine”.....not to mention this includes calls of people who have just called us for the first time in their life for an enquiry. Today is an off day...ya 1^st may is an off here...its called workers day....but I m celebrating Maharashtra day...so we arre going to go out and spend some time and finally I will click some snaps of this place and upload it on orkut (yes yes...i will upload building, places, songs, videos belonging to  others to express my individuality on orkut...isnt tht great)......and ya about the names....they have names like Wyumi, Khalaoyede, Shiganmuno ... and then they have this Jamaican kind of accent which makes it more difficult to understand.......NO NO...i don’t intend to make fun of these names but I m just sharing something with u. Well at the end of it, every country without rape, war, poverty and funny sounding names is great......

I only notice how long this mail is when it goes to the second page..I know 65.84372% of u people must not be reading it but that’s ok...I can kill them later....

Love, kisses, and hugs to all my guy friends and Namaste to all my girl friend....well I mean all the girls that are my friends....